Phyllis Diller

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Phyllis Diller

Born: July 17, 1917

Died: August 20, 2012

Nationality: American

Occupation: Comedian, actress, comedienne

Biography: Phyllis Diller was an American actress and comedienne. She created a stage persona of a wild-haired, eccentrically dressed housewife who made self-deprecating jokes about her age and appearance, her terrible cooking, and a husband named Fang, while pretending to smoke from a long cigarette holder. Diller's signature was her unusual laugh.

Phyllis Diller

“I'm eighteen years behind in my ironing.”

- Phyllis Diller

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Phyllis Diller

“I've been asked to say a couple of words about my husband, Fang. How about short and cheap?”

- Phyllis Diller

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Phyllis Diller

“If it weren't for baseball, many kids wouldn't know what a millionaire looked like.”

- Phyllis Diller

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Phyllis Diller

“It's a good thing that beauty is only skin deep, or I'd be rotten to the core.”

- Phyllis Diller

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Phyllis Diller

“Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing that keeps some parents going.”

- Phyllis Diller

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Phyllis Diller

“My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.”

- Phyllis Diller

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Phyllis Diller

“My mother-in-law had a pain beneath her left breast. Turned out to be a trick knee.”

- Phyllis Diller

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Phyllis Diller

“My photographs don't do me justice - they just look like me.”

- Phyllis Diller

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Phyllis Diller

“My recipe for dealing with anger and frustration: set the kitchen timer for twenty minutes, cry, rant, and rave, and at the sound of the bell, simmer down and go about business as usual.”

- Phyllis Diller

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Phyllis Diller

“Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.”

- Phyllis Diller

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Phyllis Diller

“Old age is when the liver spots show through your gloves.”

- Phyllis Diller

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Phyllis Diller

“Our dog died from licking our wedding picture.”

- Phyllis Diller

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Phyllis Diller

“The only time I ever enjoyed ironing was the day I accidentally got gin in the steam iron.”

- Phyllis Diller

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Phyllis Diller

“The real reason your pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see him laughing at you.”

- Phyllis Diller

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