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Jimmy Carr Quote

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Jimmy Carr

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Jimmy Carr

“A surprising amount of my jokes sound very implausible but are true.”

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Jimmy Carr

“After a gig I always head back to the hotel, remembering granny's words of wisdom. I cancel the late-night pizza and watch the Jonathan Ross show instead.”

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Jimmy Carr

“As soon as I did my first five minutes of stand-up I knew that I would rather be a failure at comedy than a success in marketing.”

Source/Notes: Will Hodgkinson (December 16, 2004) Comedy's overgrown schoolboy, The Irish Times.

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Jimmy Carr

“Even if you're doing the national insurance awards, there's still that excitement when you wonder who is going to win, er, best premiums.”

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Jimmy Carr

“I am trying to release endorphins here. I am not preaching to you - I am trying to make you laugh.”

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Jimmy Carr

“I didn't plan to be the rude middle-class comedian. You write a certain type of joke that you find funny, and mine happen to be often rude. Yes, it's juvenile, but that's me.”

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Jimmy Carr

“I don't see myself as offending people.”

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Jimmy Carr

“I don't think it's any coincidence that I lost my religious faith and 'manned up' in the same year. I was described somewhere as a lapsed Catholic, which is funny because I'm not going back! I want to achieve things rather than live life in an animalistic way.”

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Jimmy Carr

“I go around the country and do a simple gag like, 'The property ladder is now a snake' and get a real laugh.”

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Jimmy Carr

“I like to write a joke without any fat on it.The shorter the better. I cater for people with ADD, basically.”

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Jimmy Carr

“I think the idea that death is not the end, that your dog's just gone to live on the farm, is limiting. Thoughts like that prevent you from making the most of the time that you have.”

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Jimmy Carr

“I was a Christian. I didn't want to have sex before marriage, I was a bit uptight and not very self-confident. I was a virgin until I was 26.”

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Jimmy Carr

“I was in love with the idea of being in love with a woman way before I was actually in love with one.”

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Jimmy Carr

“I was in the South of France. I saw a Brownie on a school trip. She was holding up a book. It said on the front 'rough guide'. I thought: 'Yeah' she's not a looker.”

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